Finding strength and moving forward after failure and loss. Believing and trusting in yourself, in your goals and mission, after the planned and thoughtful steps lead to failures.
How many of us can do that? How many times can we do that? How can we use failure to succeed?
From lots of success-stories we know that people sometimes succeed after a great failure. Of course, everyone has their own way. Some people can recover after a big failure, however the others can't reconcile with it and give up.
What if I say, that we can prevent both of these scenarios by one step. The only thing we should do is not to wait for the big failure, but use our small and relatively harmless failures to succeed.
If you agree, give yourself the right to fail just now. Tell yourself: "I have the right to fail, I have the right to miscarry. What happens to me is a part of my life, my experience, no matter I call it failure or victory. I love myself, both when I fail and when I succeed."
When you deprive yourself of the right to fail, you deprive yourself of seeing and analyzing the reasons for failure, and avoiding new failures. As a result, every time you do not notice small failures, you get a big failure like a big blow. Of course, for some groups of people it can be sobering and motivating, however for another group it can be such a blow, from which they can`t recover. Let's not guess in which group you will be. Let's prevent those blows.
You may have fears or concerns like: "What if I give myself the right to fail, and I fail all the time. What if I am not succeed then ever". In case of any failure to overcome this fear and concern, follow these steps:
- Give yourself the right to fail
- Accept failure as yours, as an integral part of your life
- Instead accusing yourself, say words of love to yourself
- Relax the body and calm the mind, get rid of tension (you can meditate),
- This will help you not to make quick and emotional decisions, but to analyze them as objectively as possible and identify the real reasons.
- Remember, in case of failure you will experience a bunch of feelings and emotions. The most dangerous are guilt, anger, malice, self-criticism, devaluation. All of this will obscure your analysis if you do not replace them with love and acceptance of yourself.
- It may surprise you to find out the real reasons. The reasons for failures can be not only miscalculations and misanalyzes, but also internal conflicts, unhealthy relationships, fear of failure, fear of punishment, devaluation, etc.
- Go from responsibility to blame. Look for the causes of failure in all areas of your life, and remember that everyone, including you, has the right to fail. No one, including you, is to blame for your failure. You and only you are responsible for your own failure: not guilty, but responsible. You have the right to make any decision, and you are responsible for any outcome, as you have the right to both win and lose. As you accept and love both the winner and the loser in you.